


painless & colorful

by Maven_Fair



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Character Death, Gen, I'm so bad at tagging, Introspection, Kinda, Regret, Toby Smith | Tubbo Angst, Toby Smith | Tubbo-centric, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, basically a what-if on the festival, i love him so i do this, i play with respawn mechanics, inspired by the fucked up idea of decorating your own funeral, not beta read we die like henry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:14:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27628001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maven_Fair/pseuds/Maven_Fair
Summary: “Tubbo, I’m sorry,” he says, but as Tubbo looks up, all he sees is the bone of his mask, the tusks jutting out in a curved smile. “I’ll make this as painless and colorful as possible.”And he does.Tubbo_ went off with a bang due to a firework fired from [Subscribe to Technoblade] by Technoblade.respawning is tricky business.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit & Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Everyone, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot
Comments: 8
Kudos: 327





	painless & colorful

_ It’s ironic, _ Tubbo thinks,  _ how hung up I was on the lighting for the stage. _ After all, at the end of the day, all he can see is yellow. Disgusting, eye-searing yellow. The kind of yellow that makes your skin crawl and your mouth bitter and your breath falter.

“Schlatt?” he says, voice high and tight in his throat. He can only bring himself to look at the man’s red tie - disgustingly bright red, like blood. His ears are ringings, and he feels his head collide with the wet back of that fucking yellow concrete. 

“Oh, Tubbo,” Schlatt says, and he can feel the yellow closing in on him. The words wash over him,  _ tyrant  _ and  _ traitor _ and  _ spy _ all swirling inside his head. He clutches at the cobblestone roof above him, the only thing that’s not the stupid _ yellow yellow yellow -  _

He can distantly hear Niki in the background, screaming to  _ let him out, please! _

“Do you know what happens to traitors, Tubbo?” He shakes his head, closes his eyes, and slumps to the floor. His feet hit the bottom of the fence that separates him from the spectators, reminding him of just how small of a space he’s in. His own public prison, two blocks long and one block wide. 

“Th-they go home?” Schlatt and Quackity laugh, and the sound is like the color yellow.

“Oh, Technoblade, do you mind coming up here?” Schlatt calls, and it feels as though Tubbo’s whole body is encased in yellow. The concrete is still wet and he pulls his arms to his chest, trying his hardest to not touch it. It still seeps into his suit, that stupid goddamn suit that he’s now going to die in - 

“Schlatt, what are you actually talking about?” Quackity asks, and he can feel the voices of the crowd begin to shout, asking what’s happening. But Tubbo, he knows. He knows what this all means, knows what it meant to be a traitor. 

He wonders what would have happened if he had said the trigger line. Would he still be here, trapped in yellow, forced to become a message to all other Manberg citizens? He would probably die anyway, but at least he wouldn’t be the only one.

Tubbo can’t even find it in himself to care about the twinge of guilt he feels at the notion of others dying. All he can see and feel and taste and touch is that stupid piss yellow and all that he can think of is that one line he should’ve said,  _ why the fuck didn’t he say it? _

“I’d rather rule alone than with you,” Schlatt spits. Tubbo sees as Quackity begins to shout now, trying to reason against what he now realizes is an execution. Fundy, Niki, they both chime in, begging Technoblade to not kill him.

But the Blood God’s thirst hadn’t been satisfied in a while, and there was an awful lot of blood running through Tubbo’s veins.

“Tubbo, I’m sorry,” he says, but as Tubbo looks up, all he sees is the bone of his mask, the tusks jutting out in a curved smile. “I’ll make this as painless and colorful as possible.”

And he does.

Tubbo_ went off with a bang due to a firework fired from [ _ Subscribe to Technoblade _ ] by Technoblade.

* * *

Being in the in-between is hard. 

Tubbo himself has been there countless times, like everyone else. His childhoods were spent with countless respawns until he finally figured out the correct way to pet bees so that they don’t sting you to death. But there’s something about the in-between that nobody likes. There’s not a true way to describe it - it’s not unbearably cold or hot, nor uncomfortable. It’s not even like a void. It’s just  _ wrong. _

It’s an unspoken rule that staying in the in-between is a bad idea. The people who’ve tried eventually ended up respawning at the average time, too unnerved by the utter  _ nothing _ that you feel inside of it. 

You hear horror stories of people who don’t respawn. There are hardcore areas, sure, like the ones Philza lives in, but at the end of the day dying in those areas just means you’ll respawn inside a new area. But then there are some people who die and just. Don’t come back.

A glitch in the code, some theorize. A limited number of respawns, others say. 

_ Will, _ people think.  _ There was no will to live. _

And they’re right, Tubbo realizes.

* * *

Tommy doesn’t know how long he’s stood over the respawn spot. The darkness of night surrounds him, and he’s already fended off thirteen zombies, two spiders, six creepers, and five skeletons. He never strays far from the torched area he’s made, too scared of the idea that Tubbo respawns and doesn’t think Tommy’s there. He wasn’t there for his execution, after all, wasn’t there to stop Technoblade from  _ murdering his best friend, his comrade, his  _ **_brother -_ **

He’s staring at the respawn block, willing with all of his might that Tubbo would reappear. He would still be wearing that god-awful suit of his, would probably make some dumb joke about how  _ wasn’t I supposed to be the clingy one?, _ would come back with him and help Pogtopia take out Schlatt and finally get L’Manberg back. 

_ Be safe, _ had been his last words to him.  _ Be safe, _ and yet Tommy was the reason Tubbo was, was -

_ He’s going to respawn any minute, _ Tommy tells himself. It’s bitter on his tongue, almost like a lie, but it can’t be a lie because Tommy Innit only lies to enemies. 

He hears the tell-tale sign of a zombie wobbling over to them and he nearly turns to fight it off before Niki whispers “let me,” and takes it out herself. If it was any other day he'd be cheering her on, the normally pacifistic baker showing off her fighting skills. Now, he doesn’t even bother to move his eyes from where they’re trained on the same block.

He feels Niki drape a blanket over him, feels her fingers curl his over a steaming cup of honey milk.  _ Tubbo’s favorite, _ he thinks, and then says aloud. “I can’t drink this. I should save some for Tubbo,” he says, and sets it down next to him. Niki says nothing. “I’ll leave this here for him. He’ll be back in just a minute. Just a minute, Niki, don’t worry about the milk getting cold or anything. Actually, Tubbo wouldn’t even care about it being cold, he loves your honey milk too much.” He laughs a bit, recalling the time Tubbo had drank an old cup of the milk and ended up sick for two days.

“Tommy… ” she whispers. Tommy’s fingernails dig into his palms, ripping open the crescent scabs. There’s dried blood across his whole fist, and he already knows that Niki will be back in later with a cloth and water bucket to clean up the new mess. “Tommy,” she says again. His eyes stay on the block. They stand there as the sun peaks over the horizon, until Niki leaves, squeezing his shoulder as she goes.

Beside him, six cold cups of honey milk lay, awaiting a boy who may never return. 

* * *

He’s been there longer than he should. There’s something in him that knows he shouldn’t stay much longer, that staying for another  ~~ day hour minute second ~~ would mean he would… 

Something would happen.

But would that be so bad, a part of him wonders. The longer he stays the less unnerved he feels, the faster the urge to leave goes away. It’s not so bad, he thinks. Staying a bit longer wouldn’t hurt, he thinks.

~~ But what about Tommy? What about Wilbur and Niki? What about Pogtopia and the revolution and friends and and and ~~

He’s so tired. 

~~_ Who is he? _ ~~

* * *

_ All I seem to be doing lately is wishing, _ Wilbur thinks to himself, waving off Niki as she attempts to get Tommy to eat. Just a week ago he was wishing for Manberg to blow up, for Schlatt to die, for Tubbo to - 

God.  _ Tubbo.  _ He can still hear his cut-off scream, can still see the image of blood staining lips as red, blue, and white fireworks reflect off of glassy eyes before finally disappearing in a rush of items. He can still remember disregarding the chat notification for the two before it: Quackity went off with a bang due to a firework fired from [ _ Subscribe to Technoblade _ ] by Technoblade and jschlatt went off with a bang due to a firework fired from [ _ Subscribe to Technoblade _ ] by Technoblade. He can still feel his frantic movements as he searched for the button.

_ Push the button and meet up with Tommy and Tubbo at Pogtopia, _ he remembers telling himself. But soon enough messages come in the chat from everyone respawning after Technoblade killed them.

<ItsFundy> where’s tubbo???

<Nihachu> tubbo?

<Quackity> tubbo where r u

_ TommyInnit whispers to you: Have you seen Tubbo? _

_ Nihachu whispers to you: wilbur where’s tubbo. i’m coming with tommy to pogtopia. _

_ TommyInnit whispers to you: Did Tubbo go to see you? He’s not at spawn _

_ TommyInnit whispers to you: Wilbur where are you _

<ItsFundy> i can’t find tubbo

_ TommyInnit whispers to you: wlibuer tubbos not ata pogtopia _

_ TommyInnit whispers to you: wilbur help i can’t find him _

<Nihachu> tubbo? please answer us, we’re worried

_ You whisper to TommyInnit: I'm coming back. Wait. _

On the first day, all three of them scour the whole server. Others join them, and Wilbur can’t even find it in himself to be angry as Fundy and Eret join the search. There’s still a tense atmosphere whenever they cross paths, but the overlapping goal to find Tubbo stops either side from confronting the other. The tone of their search is carefully light, still optimistic that  _ maybe Tubbo just strayed a bit from the path. _

On the second day, they sit by the spawn spot, setting down torches and blankets and sharing funny stories about Tubbo. People pass by them, each sending pitying glances their way. Wilbur mentions Tubbo in a box - Tubbox! - and they spend the rest of the day in silence, minds occupied with yellow concrete and a two by one box. 

On the third day Technoblade comes by and Tommy kills him, only for the man to respawn a few blocks away. It happens again, and again, and again, until Tommy’s sword breaks and Niki ushers him back to his watching spot with a pastry. Throughout it all, Technoblade makes no complaint.

The fourth day is spent silent. 

On the fifth day, Tommy doesn’t leave ten blocks from spawn. Niki makes one extra serving of steak. Wilbur sends a letter to an old friend. 

It’s the seventh day, and they’re still waiting.

* * *

It’s getting harder to think. The pulls, the ones that pop up, start to fade, each tug slightly less forceful.

They can’t remember why they’re here. What here is. The pulls get annoying, and they wish that they would leave. It almost itches, except they don’t know what itchiness is. They have no body to be itchy.

They catch glimpses of  _ things,  _ sometimes. Things that happened (are happening, won’t happen, could have happened). Occasionally, when they can feel what they see, they see yellow and bone and wet.

It’s hard. They want the glimpses to stop. They want the pulls to stop.

Soon enough, they do.

* * *

Technoblade doesn’t regret many things in his life. In the first place, he isn’t the type of person who simply follows their instincts and does things on a whim. No, that was more Tommy and - no matter how much he denies it - Wilbur’s style. Nearly every move he makes is calculated and very, very selfish. Loyalty, justice, and chivalry… that’s all hero stuff. Best to leave it to main characters like Tommy Innit. 

People like him do things for bad reasons, but they’re too smart to catch any consequences. People like him and Dream. There’s a reason only Wilbur Soot was strong enough to truly begin a fight against the green bastard. After all, he’s had practice. With the Blood God himself.

Loyalty isn’t easy to come by, even with the average person. Loyalty from Technoblade even less so. The list is short and sweet, as he likes it: Philza and Wilbur Soot. Tommy nearly made the list, the boy growing on him, but Technoblade could never agree with his idealistic nature, the exuberant hero that he strives to be but hasn’t realized he already is. He’d do anything for him, sure, but if Technoblade saw an opportunity for himself he would take it. 

He saw one. He took it. And now he pays the price.

Dying is an unusual feeling for Technoblade. Not many people have had the honor of killing him. To some, there were even whispers of him being unkillable. All untrue, of course, but it just made it all the more fun to track down those who run.

Tubbo had no way of running. It was gruesome, his death. Technoblade is glad he was the only one to see it.  _ No person deserves to go out that way, _ the Philza in his head had berated. 

_ It’s fine, _ he replied.  _ He’ll respawn in a few seconds, anyway. And maybe he’ll have a sick scar from it. _

But he didn’t. 

And maybe he won’t.

“Fuck you, Technoblade! I hate you! I hate you! You  _ killed _ him! You killed Tubbo! You killed my brother!”

Technoblade was slain by TommyInnit.

Technoblade was slain by TommyInnit.

Technoblade was slain by TommyInnit.

Technoblade was slain by TommyInnit.

Technoblade was slain by TommyInnit.

Technoblade was slain by TommyInnit.

Technoblade was slain by TommyInnit.

Technoblade was slain by TommyInnit.

Technoblade was slain by TommyInnit.

Technoblade was slain by… 

Finally, after the sword breaks and the girl takes Tommy away, Technoblade just stands there. The Blood God lets himself think past anarchy and chaos and bloodlust. Lets himself think, for once, of what others want. And then he makes a decision.

_ You whisper to Dream: I need to call in a favor. _

* * *

There’s something there. It’s another entity like itself, except this entity has a form. It is formless, with nothing to show of whatever it was created from. Perhaps this entity is the thing that will let the pulls stop.

The entity comes to a stop near him. It’s wings are weird, it thinks. Who needs wings here?

Another entity arrives, this one far more abruptly. There is no distance in here but it can tell that this new entity traveled less  ~~ distance space time ~~ ~~.~~ This new one doesn’t have wings, which makes something twinge in its area. 

The entities are speaking. It does not know what they are speaking about. It begins to ignore the new entities, deciding that they are not here to harm it. 

A push, a pull, and  _ it _ becomes  _ they _ which becomes  _ he _ which becomes - 

“Tubbo! Tubbo, oh my god, Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo… ”

“Tubbo, I thought… You… Tubbo.”

“Dream? Philza? What… ”

“Tommy, son, I know this is hard, but you might want to move away.”

“Techno, I told you to - ”

“I know, but the kid hasn’t left this area in five days. There wasn’t any way in hell I was gonna be the one to move him. Last time I tried, I died about fifty times.”

“Philza, god, thank you so much, I - ”

“You’re my son, Wilbur. I’d do anything for you.”

“Tubbo, I can’t believe you - ”

“Tubbo?”

* * *

_ Technoblade whispers to you: I need to call in a favor. _

_ You whisper to Technoblade: what? _

_ Technoblade whispers to you: Get back. I killed Tubbo. He’s not respawning. _

_ You whisper to Technoblade: You know what will happen, right? _

_ Technoblade whispers to you: I know. But Wilbur already messaged Philza, and he said he’d do it.  _

_ Technoblade whispers to you: Please. This is my fault. _

_ Technoblade whispers to you: I’ll take the blame. _

_ You whisper to Technoblade: Okay.  _

_ You whisper to Technoblade: I’ll be there tomorrow. Keep Tommy away from spawn. _

* * *

“Who are you?”

**Author's Note:**

> i love tubbo so much that's why i did this to him i swear ;-; 
> 
> i hope tubbo's in-between sections weren't too confusing? this was made in literally an hour lol, i just got thinking really hard on the idea of decorating your own funeral and then this was came to be. if you wish to know, the reason philza and dream could bring him back was because they're just a little to the left of human. they basically had to do a "hard reset" to bring him back, which meant clearing all memories. finally, thank you all for reading! this probs won't have a sequel btw, but rest assured that in my mind, tubbo re-meets his family and lives happily on a bee farm :D lemme know if any tags should be added as well!
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/Maven_Fair) | [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/maven-fair) | [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/Maven_Fair)


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